The Cost of Living Distracted

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As my daughter and I were sitting at the breakfast table, I’m on my phone scrolling through some social media site, and I hear my daughter say to me “Mama, talk to me”. I look up at her and see her big beautiful eyes staring at me, wanting my full attention. I instantly felt a tug of guilt on my heart, I was missing a moment I would never get back, a moment to connect with my daughter. I put my phone down and gave my daughter my full attention. We proceeded to have a fun conversation about dragons, moon cheese, and how swinging at the park is her favorite. In today’s society our attention is constantly being grabbed at by many directions, what will we allow our attention to grab onto? What type of moments do we want to fill our lives with?

If we set aside our to-do lists just for a bit and allowed the present moment to fill us, what types of things would we see? I would see my daughter’s face and how much it has changed since she was a baby, I would feel her soft hands that no longer have as much of the baby dimples as she used to, I would be filled with her scent and allow it calm my senses, I would hear her sweet voice that is starting to pronounce words correctly.  Truly living is living in the moment, saying yes to jumping on the bed instead of folding the laundry, getting ice cream even if it’s before dinner, hugging my daughter instead of yelling, realize that each day could be our last. We are not promised forever, and in the blink of an eye my daughter will be going off to college and in that moment, I don’t want to look back and realize I missed my life.

The most precious gift we can offer others I our presence.

When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers. -Thich Nhat Hanh

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In this exact moment, will I reach down for my daughter and give her the attention craves? Or will I continue my task that is keeping me from loving on her? I chose my daughter, because one day she won’t tug on me and want me to hold her anymore, and that day could be tomorrow. We each have a choice, to guard against distraction and become more connected with those we love, or acknowledge the cost of distraction and allow that to take our time.

IMG_6535In this moment, the perfectionist in me was not happy about an entire wipes container being emptied onto the floor, but instead of getting upset my daughter and I laughed in this moment. We used those wipes and threw them up in the air, ripped them, allowed her to use her creativity for whatever reason she wanted to empty that container for. As parents, we write the memories our children will carry with them. Do I want my daughter to remember that I cared more about a tidy home than interacting with her? Instead of using the endless list of excuses we all have, today I will choose my daughter, while I still have the chance.

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So today I will choose to go down the slide head first, splash in the dirty puddle, read that book for the hundredth time, and dance in the sunshine even if people are watching.

What are the costs of your distracted lives?

 

A Letter to My Daughter About Her Self-Worth

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Dear Charlotte,

Right now you lay up in your bed sleeping peacefully as I think about the past two and a half years you’ve blessed me with. I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you, I cried and cried so thankful and excited for the life we would have together. Each morning as you grew in my belly I prayed over you, for your protection, but mostly for your future and who you would become. The moment you entered this world I remember saying how beautiful you were, I couldn’t take my eyes off you, I was instantly and overwhelmingly in love with you. As you physically grew so did your personality, your emotions, and your mind. I am daily taken back by how insanely smart, kind, loving, joyful, hilarious, beautiful, and sweet. I know that as you grow older you will become more aware, aware of yourself, the world, the people in the world and how they look at you. What I wish I could give you is the gift of being able to see yourself through my eyes everyday. I don’t want you to ever think less of what I described you as, but I know someday you will. When those days come there are some things I want you to forever remember…

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  1. You are fearfully and wonderfully made-When you were created in my womb, God had a specific design and plan for your life. A life that is full of joy, fulfillment, and beauty. You are here on purpose, for a purpose. Know that the plans God has for your life are way more than what you could ever think for yourself, be ready for an amazing journey! “The Lord directs the steps of the Godly. He delights in every detail of their lives” Psalm 37:23
  2. You are loved by so many people that all want to support you and see you reach your greatest potential. Know that you are never alone, even if life can sometimes seem lonely.
  3. You are beautiful on the inside and out. This world will want you to believe that outward beauty is what women should strive for. I don’t agree, I think beauty comes from within. Caring for people, having a gentle spirit, being respectful, possessing confidence, and loving well are all things that make you beautiful. Even though you are outwardly beautiful focus on the inside more and that brings outward beauty. IMG_1851
  4. You are strong and much stronger than you may believe. Don’t give up and don’t give in! You truly can do whatever you set your mind to accomplish, so dream big baby girl.
  5. You are so smart-You amaze me by the things you say and do. Continue to stick with your love for reading and learning, this will bring great things your way.
  6. Be willing to give yourself grace and plenty of it at times. You will stumble, you will fall, but always get back up. Know that mistakes and wrong turns can bring a beautiful outcome when looked at with grace. I wish I had been nicer to myself through the mistakes of my life, but you have the chance to do well in this from the beginning. Be loving towards yourself.
Charlie girl, if there are days when you feel “less than” remember these things I’ve told you, for they are all true. I pray you find your self-worth through these things and not what society thinks is worthy.
Thank you for making me a mama and allowing me to (hopefully) teach you how to navigate this sometimes scary world.