A friend of mine recently told me about a book that I should put in my toolbox of parenting skills, “Parenting with Love & Logic” by Foster Cline & Jim Fay. Since Brent and I had a long road trip to and from Nebraska I decided that was the perfect time to read this book. I’m so glad I decided to read this book because it’s really changed how I have been parenting Charlotte lately. I thought since this book was so good, I would highlight some of the things I took away from this book. (Reminder, this is not my original content but highlights taken from this book). This book aims to teach children responsibility, self-confidence, motivation, and helps to teach them to solve their own problems.
- Allowing our children to fail and learn from their mistakes when they are young and the consequences are small. “We can hurt a little as we watch them learn life’s lessons now, or we can hurt a lot as we watch them grow up to be individuals unable to care for themselves… The older a child gets, the bigger the decisions become and the graver the consequences of those decisions.”
- When parents remind their children of their weaknesses the result will be erosion of their self-concept. “We must be uncritical and unprotective. Parents who raise irresponsible children do exactly the opposite! They’re critical and protective.”
- Children learn every interpersonal activity by the modeling of their parents, how they handle fighting, frustration, language, etc; kind of a scary/empowering thought, huh?
One of the biggest things I’ve taken away from this this book is the power of choices. Giving your children two choices in which you can both live with and allow the child to feel like they are in control to decide their fate. “When they choose an option, they do the thinking, they make the choice, and the lesson sticks” Choices like; Would you like to put your boots on now, or in the car? Do you want to wear your coat or carry it?
I’ll leave you with one last thing I thought was a really great thought about self-concept. “Kids are born with a great capacity to learn to do things the way big people do. They observe and attempt to copy what they see. Their prime interest is learning and doing things just like their parents do them. All too often, however, parents discourage their kids in this.” Does this scenario ring a bell for anyone? Little Tyler sees his dad sweeping the garage so he grabs a small broom to ‘help’ and in his mind he is feeling big and learning to use the broom. However, his dad just notices the ‘mess’ he’s making and tells him to go play with his friends instead. Well this message the father sends to his son is that he is incapable and Tyler will be discouraged to imitate adult behavior.
Parents who build on their kids’ strengths find their children growing in responsibility almost daily.
Anyone read any good parenting books lately? Please share