I’m finding myself extremely fond of this particular season of motherhood. There are many times a day that I try and soak into my memory moments that are so fleeting. My husband and I celebrated this weekend with a couple who are expecting their first child next month. This celebration of new life had me reflecting upon the past 2 1/2 years and how quickly they’ve gone by. The first few months are such a blur of no sleep, feeding the baby, changing their diaper, and keeping your sanity. I remember feeling so guilty for grieving the loss of my old life, my independence, my life with just my husband. We soon settled into a groove that was beautiful, I had dreamed of being a stay at home mom since I was little and I was finally living my dream. Each phase seemed to come and go so quickly, our schedule of life changed as soon as we got used to the previous one. I craved something more consistent, I
was am such a planner and scheduled person that the shifting phases of newborn life was a challenge for me.
I remember researching each phase, and how long it would last, getting ready to prepare for the next one. However, if I’m ever blessed with another child I will choose to live in the present season, and soak up every little moment in that season (even the hard ones).
I am loving the current phase of motherhood I am in right now. I love the wonderful interactions and conversations I have with Charlotte. I would talk to Charlotte constantly when she was a baby but it’s so different having her be able to understand what I say and react to it. She is seriously a sponge, she soaks up everything, watching, listening. I love her sense of humor, she’s truly hilarious. Though we have a solid schedule (she goes to bed at 7:30 and is up at 7am, naps from 1-3) we do have flexibility if our days require it. She rarely has trouble sleeping at night (thank you Jesus) and loves her naps (another thank you Jesus). She has started to remember when I tell her something exciting that is coming up (like a birthday party, and ice cream treat, etc) this is both good and bad.
“Mama, I love you forever” is what my daughter told me one day while I was holding her close to me. I know she doesn’t understand the concept of forever but she does understand love. When I dreamed of our lives together when I was pregnant I dreamed of a life full of joy and love. I wanted my daughter to understand the love that I feel for her, that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. In the moment she spoke those words to me I felt like she knew, she could feel what I felt for her. This season of motherhood I am choosing to be present and soak up all that I can knowing that it will pass all too quickly and I won’t be able to get it back.